Big Rascal here, pups, to fill you in on how to get the most out of the 4th of July holiday. Now, no doubt you’ve been hearin’ all sortsa pops and whistles and frazzles over the weekend ’round your neighborhood. Ain’t nothin’ to worry about. That’s just your average human child gettin’ a bit wild and crazy with the sparklers and fireworks.
What you do need to be prepared for is what’s gonna go down tonight! I’m talkin’ flashes and explosions that might make you think we’re all about to head up to doggy heaven.
Don’t you fret, though. Big Rascal has survived more than a couple 4th of July celebrations, and is here to get you through to tomorrow with your ears perked and all your fur intact. Just follow these steps and you’ll be right n’ ready for all the hullabaloo.
Big Rascal’s Survival Guide to the 4th of July
1. Determine the location of the nearest bed and/or pile of freshly done laundry. Nothing soothes a startled pup more than dartin’ into someplace warm and cozy once the fireworks show gets to blastin’ away.
2. If you see something dropped onto the ground, DO NOT EAT IT! At least not right away. I know there are few things more tempting to us pups than mysterious objects on the ground, but today of all days, give every dropped item a good sniffin’ before even gettin’ close. And if the item is sparkin’ or smokin’ in any way, head the other direction, pronto!
3. Stay far away from any human children holding sparkly sticks. Just trust me on this, pups.
4. Sniff out the tastiest picnic treats and keep ’em in your sights. The 4th of July is a great time for picnics. And that means a lotta leftovers lyin’ around. So when the humans get distracted by all the “ooohin'” and “aaaahin” at the fireworks, that’s your chance to snarf a bit o’ bacon, hamburger, or hot dog.
5. And most importantly, tonight is a great night to get lotsa cuddlin’ and pettins’. All the humans will want to comfort us pups, seein’ as we’re all ruffled by the noise and flashy lights. Take full advantage of their sympathy, and you might even get some extra treats!
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